


Unauthorized Wormhole Activation

by wraith816



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-05
Updated: 2005-12-05
Packaged: 2017-10-18 01:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wraith816/pseuds/wraith816
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aliens made them do it. Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unauthorized Wormhole Activation

"Unauthorized wormhole activation!" Davis announced.

Alarms began to sound as Hammond rushed down the stairs into the control room. "Do we have an IDC?"

"Not yet, sir...wait, we’re getting a video transmission from a MALP. Should I put it on, sir?"

"Go ahead." The screen over the control room window flickered to life, showing a green field on the other side, but no signs of life. The MALP camera began panning over the landscape; after a moment, the camera revealed just how the 'gate had been activated.

Doctor Jackson was sprawled out face down on the DHD, hands clutching at the glyphs for purchase, his BDU pants around his ankles. Colonel O'Neill was in a similar state of semi-dress as he gave it to Jackson hard from behind.

Hammond sputtered, shocked to see his 2iC having sex with a male civilian consultant. He reddened, partly from embarrassment and partly from anger. "Colonel O'Neill,” he bellowed, "what in hell do you think you’re doing?"

The two men froze at the sound of his voice; they quickly scrambled to make themselves presentable, pulling apart and hiking up their pants.

O'Neill rushed to the MALP, still flushed and panting as he answered, "Um, sir, I was just helping Daniel, erm...scratch an itch?"

"Colonel O'Neill..." Hammond sternly replied.

Hammond could’ve sworn that O’Neill actually squeaked, "Aliens made us do it, sir!"

"Aliens?"

“Yes! Big aliens! With guns!” O'Neill nodded.

"Colonel O'Neill, the MALP didn't show any aliens in your vicinity."

"Well, um, sir, that’s because..."

Doctor Jackson, who had finished making himself decent, appeared on the camera. "It's because they’re out of phase, General."

"You mean to tell me, Doctor, that you and Colonel O'Neill were forced to have sex over the DHD by out-of-phase aliens with guns? That's the third time this week!"


End file.
